Today, N and O go together.
By niceties I mean playing nice, not making waves, not complaining, not acknowledging that things were once quite horrible. It’s weird but I think that is what has made me seem like such an optimist. How can you be anything else when the worst of what happens in the now can’t ever touch the worst of what has happened in the past?
Over and over and over in my life I learned to grin and bear it. Hide the shameful experiences. Compartmentalize.
The hidden gift in that is who I am now. It’s all about perspective.
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.”
I’ve hidden my struggle out of the depths. I am waiting, biding my time if you will, to tell some of my stories. Why would I do that? Some of it is shame. Some of it is fear. And some of it is protecting the people in my life from the whole story.
Right now, the blog is about getting me comfortable with sharing my opinion more than my story. It’s a process, however, and I’m starting to feel like there are bits and pieces that are ready to be told.
They will be much harder to write, I think, than these light little posts. Some of the stories will be uplifting and some will be sad. I imagine when I dig into them that most will contain some sort of lesson but if not, they will at least be interesting. I guess we’ll see, won’t we?